Using Christ’s Example To Foster Forgiveness in Marriage and Healing.

🕊Ephesians 4:32New International Version

³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

When someone betrays you, whether it be through adultery, profound hurt, or shattered trust, it might feel as though your entire foundation is about to shake beneath your feet. The anguish that many couples experience is not simply the result of a mistake; rather, it is the result of the covenant, the promise, and the “for better or worse” that they made together. There is, nonetheless, optimism even in the most hopeless of circumstances. Forgiveness in marriage is not merely a good idea for Christians; rather, it is a way of following the example of Jesus Christ, who demonstrated forgiveness even while he was wounded.

This article examines the ways in which you and your partner can traverse the path of healing after a betrayal, with a foundation in the example of Christ and a structure that is designed for the long haul of your marriage. You will find practical strategies, biblical truth, and a heart-centered call to renewed Godly love in this book, regardless of whether you are currently dating but want to learn how to handle this kind of hurt before it happens or whether you are already walking through this season.

In this post, thefaithwins shares with you on Healing after a betrayal via the example of Christ is the key to forgiving in marriage, Christ’s Model of Forgiveness as an Example, When Forgiveness Feels Impossible, Why This Matters for You as a Couple and so much more.

📖 Christ’s Model of Forgiveness as an Example

The concept of forgiveness is frequently interpreted as a form of absolving wrongdoing or forgetting what has occurred. However, the Word of God defines it in a different way. Sin is not diminished by forgiveness; rather, it is released from its grip. Choosing to let go of resentment in order to allow peace to take root is an act that demonstrates obedience and trust towards others.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” advises the book of Ephesians chapter four verse thirty-two. The line in question serves to remind us that the act of forgiving someone is not about what they deserve; rather, it is about reflecting the mercy that we have already received. The pardon that Christ offered was whole and absolutely unreserved. Even those who had deceived, denied, and crucified Him were able to receive grace from him. The grace that we are called to forgive one another in marriage is modeled after the grace that we have received.

In the context of marriage, following Christ’s example typically entails forgiving one another repeatedly, with humility, and with compassion. Saying things like “I choose to love you, even when it’s hard” and “I will not let bitterness define our future” are examples of what it means to choose love.

Jesus did not merely teach forgiveness; He actively practiced it. Consider the following statement from a writer: “By looking at the Cross, we can learn a lot about forgiveness in our marriages.” (Begin With the Right Marriage)
The following are some truths that you should always keep in mind:

• Forgiveness is a choice, not just a feeling. It doesn’t mean you instantly forget the betrayal, but you choose to release its hold. (gabc-archive.org)
• Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the wrongdoing, but invites something new: healing, restoration, and transformation. (The Witness)
• Forgiveness is empowered by God, not by your own strength. One article says: “God is in the business of restoration.” (theravines.org)
• Forgiveness leads to freedom—not just for the one who betrayed, but for the one who was betrayed. “All things work for good …” (Romans 8:28) is a promise. (Believers Refuge)

In your marriage, you’re called not just to endure the wrong, but to follow Christ’s way of healing the wrong with gentleness, truth, repentance, and grace.

🛠 Steps to Healing After Betrayal

Here is a feasible road map, which is not a magic bullet, but rather a series of measures that should be followed together:

1. Face the Reality

• As spiritual anchors, you can make use of verses such as Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13 (which encourages you to forgive as the Lord has forgiven you). “A Haven for Believers”
• Be sure to pray for wisdom, healing, and courage, both collectively and individually.

2. Anchor in Scripture and Prayer

• Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13 (which says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you”) are two examples of passages that can serve as spiritual anchors. a safe haven for believers
• Together and individually, pray for counsel, for healing, and for the fortitude to face the future.

3. Rebuild Trust with Concrete Actions

• Transparency, consistency, and accountability are all established by the partner who has betrayed its partner. http://www.biblicalcounseling.com/media/
• The hurt partner expresses their wants, anxieties, and boundaries to the other spouse.
• Slowly, through the performance of modest acts of love, honesty, and respect, trust can be rebuilt.

4. Practice Forgiveness Daily

• Understand that forgiveness often isn’t “one and done.” It may be a daily decision. (theravines.org)
• Use a table like this to guide you:

✅ Step	🔍 What It Looks Like
Name the hurt	“When you did ___, I felt ___.”
Express your need	“I need honesty, I need listening, I need __.”
Respond with grace	“I choose to forgive you, trusting God with our healing.”
Reinforce the covenant	“I believe in us, and I believe God is working in our marriage.”

💬 When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

There are days when the wound feels too deep. The scars too visible. Here’s how to keep going:

• Recognize that time is part of healing. One ministry notes it may take years. (Reddit)
• Seek counseling. Professional Christian couples help can provide safe space and tools. (forgivenmuchministries.org)
• Set healthy boundaries. Forgiveness doesn’t mean staying in harm’s way unchecked.
• Hold onto God’s promise: “He heals the brokenhearted.” (Believers Refuge)

🌿 Why This Matters for You as a Couple

You’re not just planning a wedding or a celebration — you’re preparing for marriage, with all its seasons: joy, routine, challenge, triumph, injury, healing. When betrayal happens, the way you respond defines not only this chapter—but the quality of your decades together.

By choosing Christ-modelled forgiveness, you:

• Reinforce that your marriage is a sacred covenant, not a contract.
• Let Godly love shine through your messiness.
• Create a testimony of grace that may reach others — your children, your church, your community.
• Build a foundation that can withstand future storms, because you learned how to walk through fire together.

👣 A Weekly Healing Plan

Here’s a simple weekly plan to keep your journey moving forward:

• Monday: Read together Colossians 3:13 and share honestly how the week ahead feels.
• Wednesday: Share a moment of transparency: each one says one fear, one hope.
• Friday: Express literal forgiveness — say it out loud: “I forgive you,” or “I’m working to forgive.”
• Sunday: Attend church, pray together, listen for what God is doing in and through your story.

Regarding Marriage, Forgiveness (A testimony from a church member)

To simply declare, “I forgive my husband for all of his poor choices,” would have been an oversimplification of the situation. It was necessary for me to have some time to think about all of the repercussions that I had agreed to live with. The initial step consisted of granting him forgiveness for the grief caused by the overall betrayal. However, there were other levels that were discovered, and they needed to be sorted through. Concerns pertaining to the family, finances, spirituality, and emotions are just some of the layers that are involved. It took some time for me to comprehend the number of layers that were present and the manner in which each region had been impacted.

After a number of months had passed after the final revelation of Dave’s complete actions, I had the impression that we had been able to resolve the most of the layers of forgiveness. It was a completely unrelated matter that brought up the subject of money. My feelings of resentment sprang upon me like a massive redwood tree. When I realized that my husband had been spending money on his addiction for all those years, it was a profound realization to me that we had been living on a meager budget. It was necessary for me to take a step back and carefully consider the origin of the intense feeling. This was a layer that I had not yet dealt with, and I became aware of it. In order for us to proceed, it was necessary for me to go through the process of forgiveness once more.

The fact that I am able to move through each step without being judged is evidence that my husband is aware of my dedication to the concept of forgiveness. I am not going to lie about the discomfort that a specific layer brings me. Due to the fact that it is a result of his poor decisions, this is the case. It is not something that I use as a weapon or that I throw in his face. Instead of tearing down the connection, I want to work on repairing it. At first, I went in the opposite direction far too far. Trying to conceal the agony was something I was doing because I didn’t want to encourage him to return to his addiction. Then I came to the realization that this was not good for either of us. It was important for him to grasp how I was feeling. We were both able to make progress in reestablishing trust when he handled the situation without taking a defensive stance.

🕊 Final Encouragement for Your Marriage

Know this: the anguish you are experiencing is quite genuine if you are going through the process of betrayal. It is important that you are hurt. On the other hand, the power of the One who brings the dead back to life, heals the broken, and rebuilds what has been destroyed is also there. In the context of your marriage, you are not only enduring betrayal; rather, you are entering a narrative of redemption.

Instead, choose to forgive. Make grace your choice. Opt for the challenging route of love that is modeled after this Christ. It won’t be a quick process. The sensation might not be ideal. But if you walk together and rely on God, your marriage has the potential to emerge from the ashes stronger, more profound, and more beautiful than it was before.

In this partnership, you were destined to be there. For this voyage, you were destined to go. The fidelity and love of God will be reflected in your marriage, as a result of the promise that God has made and your faith. 💕