When we talk about sexuality in marriage, we frequently frame the topic in a negative light, that is, we talk about what not to do, what is off limits, and what causes shame. Imagine, however, that we turned the topic to what the Bible has to teach about the pleasures of closeness and connection.
The purpose of this essay is to assist you enter your marriage with a sense of celebration, clarity, and delight by examining the goodness of marital intimacy, which is built in Godly love. It does so by drawing principles from Proverbs 5:19 and the Song of Solomon.
The Joy of Godly Sex: Myths Busted and Truths from Song of Solomon – Proverbs 5:19
📖 What the Scriptures Say
Proverbs 5:19 reads:
“A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always; may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” (BibleRef.com)
This verse straight-talks about sexual delight within marriage. It celebrates the body, the pleasure, and the exclusive joy between husband and wife. (Bible Hub)
Meanwhile, the Song of Solomon presents a poetic, vibrant portrayal of marital love—of attraction, arousal, longing and delight. It isn’t ashamed of the body, nor afraid of intimacy in a committed, covenant context. (ESV Bible)
Together, these passages say: sex in marriage is good, beautiful and meant to be enjoyed — not just tolerated.
Allow her to be as the affectionate hind and the lovely roe; allow her breasts to fulfill you at all times; and allow her love to enchant you at all times.
In order to have a good marriage, it is essential to be content with your wife. Solomon cautioned his son to make three extremely significant decisions: he should treat his wife with tenderness as if she were a delicate object of affection; he should only admire her body and sexuality; and he should let her affection and devotion to engulf him. The following adage is a source of inspiration that provides some of the most important marriage advice for husbands.
In Colossians 3:19, it is written that a man can gain a great deal by gaining knowledge and putting that knowledge into practice.
A man will lose his marriage, his sexuality, and his soul if he allows his bitterness to harden him toward his wife, if he loves the bodies of other women, or if he despises his wife’s efforts to be his lover. Dissatisfaction, particularly in the context of marriage, can have negative repercussions. Take care! The fortunate God, who is more knowledgeable about the joy and pleasure that may be found in marriage than all men combined, has provided invaluable teaching to those who are willing to humble themselves, listen to it, and put it into practice.
🧩 Debunking Myths & Embracing Truths
Here are some common myths about sex in Christian marriage — and the truths grounded in Scripture.
| Myth | Truth |
|---|---|
| “Sex is a duty or necessary obligation.” | Truth: In marriage, sex is also a gift — to be enjoyed, cherished and celebrated. Proverbs 5:19 shows delight. (Mind Renewers) |
| “Talking about pleasure is un-Christian.” | Truth: The Song of Solomon affirms pleasure, beauty and mutual delight as part of God’s design. (Verse by Verse Commentary) |
| “Christian sex means minimal desire or lack of excitement.” | Truth: Scripture celebrates passionate longing (“may you ever be intoxicated with her love”). Proverbs 5:19 invites joy. (Video Bible) |
| “Intimacy is only for procreation, nothing else matters.” | Truth: While children are a blessing, the marital bed is also about connection, love, pleasure and unity. (christiantrainingonline.org) |
🌿 How to Cultivate Joyful, God-Honoring Intimacy
If you want to construct a marriage in which sexual activity is a pleasant part of your partnership and is rooted in God’s plan, here are some practical methods that can help you do so.
Make it a habit to experience moments of delight and novelty on a regular basis. Keeping in mind the poetic imagery in the song, continue to discover new things, maintain your connections, and stay current. When there is happiness in the bedroom, the entire marriage is strengthened.
Accept each other’s bodies as gifts and celebrate them. It is important to let the words of the Song and Proverbs to change your perspective: the body of your spouse is not merely functional; rather, it is beautiful, adored, and intended to be enjoyed. Communicate your gratitude, appreciation, and real attraction to one another.
Have open and honest conversations about your desires and your limits. If you want your relationship to be reciprocal, respectful, and joyous, you should talk about the things that bring you pleasure, the things that you value, and the things that are off limits. When you establish a sense of security and trust, joy will increase.
Third, make sure that the covenant and exclusivity of your sexual relationship are protected. According to Proverbs 5:19, one should only be satisfied with one marriage. Throughout the song, the couple is depicted as being exclusive to one another. Your sexual connection should be preserved as a happy and sacred experience.
Make physical proximity an act of worship rather than merely a physical one. Sexual encounters become more than a fleeting moment when you recognize that your body is a gift from God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Instead, they become a celebration of the covenant, connection, and purpose that you share with God.
In the text from Proverbs 5:19, a vivid description of the joys of marital love is presented. More particularly, the verse emphasizes the significance of having sexual union with one’s spouse as a divine gift that is intended to bring about contentment and satisfaction. It highlights that the portrayal of such joys, despite the fact that it is likely to make some readers uncomfortable, demonstrates the essence of moral and sexual sanity, which is something that is increasingly challenged by the widespread moral degradation that is occurring in contemporary society.
The author expresses concern over the ways in which societal pressures have warped notions of sexuality. These effects include the suggestion that the media presents women’s beauty in a manner that diverts men’s attention away from enjoying their wives. The joy and purity that God intended for married relationships are diminished as a result of the corruption that exists in society. In the text, there is an emphasis placed on the necessity of embracing and celebrating healthy biblical sexuality. The text argues that discussions of this nature should not be embarrassing but rather bring about a more profound comprehension of God’s intentions for the closeness that exists within marriage.
Furthermore, the author contends that the translation of “exhilarated” does not adequately convey the intensity of the teaching that the father imparts to his son. The father encourages his son to get intoxicated by the love that his wife has for him, thereby advocating for a sexual connection that is passionate and committed. A more general idea that can be found throughout the Bible, particularly in the Song of Solomon, which extols the sexual love that is shared in marriage, is reflected in this encouragement to take pleasure in the love that is shared inside a marriage.
Last but not least, there is a demand for fathers to begin proactively discussing these things with their boys. This will help them develop a healthy perspective of sexuality within the context of marriage, while also serving as a warning against the misleading narratives that are provided by society that exalt immorality. For the sake of combating incorrect information and cultivating respect for the sacredness of sexual connection as ordered by God, the text urges for clarity in these interactions.
📋 Quick List: 5 Ways to Reignite Joy This Week
- Share with your spouse one thing you find beautiful about their body and one thing you love about your physical relationship together.
- Pick a time this week that’s just for you two — without kids, without distractions — and focus on connection: talk, touch, flirt, laugh.
- Read a short passage from the Song of Solomon together (e.g., 4:9-10 or 7:6-10) and ask: “How does this imagery reflect our marriage and how we feel about each other?”
- Pray together: “Lord, thank You for the gift of our sexual relationship. Help us honour You with our bodies, delight in each other, and draw closer in love.”
- Set aside a “surprise” intention — something unexpected that brings fun and joy into the physical side of your relationship (a massage, a new time, a special environment).
🕊 Final Encouragement for Your Marriage
Your wedding day will be beautiful — but the marriage that follows will be shaped by how you love, relate and connect in every area, including the intimate. Remember: sex in marriage is not simply a necessary part of your union — it’s a gift, a delight, a means of deep connection, and yes, an act of worship when done in God’s design.
Let the words of Scripture guide you: joy, delight, exclusivity and love. May your intimacy not be marked by shame or fear, but by celebration, freedom and deep connection. Your body, your spouse’s body, your union—they are part of a holy gift. Embrace it, honour it, enjoy it.
Here’s to a marriage filled with Godly love, deep joy, and the delight of two becoming one in every way. 💕
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